Confidence: Do you ever feel unsure of yourself?
True story: I noticed I was feeling unsettled as I drove to my last networking event. What if people don’t like me? Are they going to judge my outfit? Will I feel like I belong and make the connections I want to?
Then, I began to judge myself for feeling that way. In the past, I might dwell on the fact that all of those feelings were self-serving.
Now, I’m able to quickly identify when those thoughts and judgments occur and I mentally take myself through my Confidence-Care routine that focuses my thoughts and feelings outward towards serving others… recognizing when I allow myself to be truly visible, I’ll have the opportunity to touch more people and make a difference in their lives.
What is Confidence-Care?
Each of us is a unique mixture of introvert and extrovert. People who are predominantly extroverts are seemingly more confident while the introvert is often seen as shy and insecure.
My experience shows that an individual’s level of confidence is not tied to their introvert/extrovert’ism. It’s more intrinsically related to their level of personal insight, self-love, and its bridge to serving others.
I personally identify as a friendly introvert and most days my confidence code is riding high.
However, there are days when I’m feeling down despite my rigorous self-care and confidence-care routine, similar to the day I was driving to my networking event.
That day like many others, I turned off my music, turned on my nature sounds playlist (my favorites being ‘Rain on Leaves’ and “Rushing Brook”) and began my confidence meditation (with my eyes open because I was driving!).
How to create a Confidence-Care Routine
Here’s what I do and without a doubt it will amp up your confidence, too:
1. Tap Into Your Values.
“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” Walt Disney
Everything we do stems from our personal values.
One of the first exercises I do with my clients is to identify their top 5 personal values.
It can be daunting to narrow it down to 5, but this exercise helps people get clear and centered around what they stand for.
Those values are the foundation for every action they take, whether it’s establishing a compelling brand, shaping their company culture or setting the standard for their customer’s experience.
Once you’re clear on those values you can intentionally focus on them as the touchstone for any and all interactions.
Be it focusing on ways your can serve at a event, encourage each person you come into contact with, or as the foundation for each decision you make.
2. Serve, serve, serve.
“The best way to lose yourself is in the service of others.” Mahatma Gandhi
This principle was a foundation of my upbringing. To be of service is to become bigger than the way we normally see ourselves.
Our focus shifts. We become less preoccupied with ourselves and turn our focus outward, towards serving others.
When our focus is outward we do not dwell on the insecurities we may be feeling. That focus also powerfully reflects a humble self-assuredness.
This serve-first attitude demonstrates the level of service your clients will experience when they hire you.
3. Be positive.
“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” Zig Ziglar
Have you ever noticed that positive people are much more attractive and likable. Positive people become some of the most powerful influencers and many of the world’s most successful people.
Positivity is simply a shift in attitude.
My Positivity Pledge goes like this, “I will not allow negative thoughts and feelings to drain my energy. I will focus on the good. I will think it, feel it, and every word that comes out of my mouth will be its reflection.”
There are days it’s more difficult to focus on the positive, I get it!
Here’s a sneak peek into the minds of positive people and some ways you can make that attitude shift:
- Speak highly of people.
- Look for the blessing in every situation. If you can’t find it, be assured it will reveal itself in time.
- Encourage others with kind words, a hand-written card or a silent hug.
- Embrace positivity. You’ll attract more positive people into your life, including the clients you LOVE to work with.
4. Cultivate your ideal personal image.
“Dress the way you want to be addressed.” JuliAnn Stitick.
Granted you can’t change your clothes on the way to a networking event, but a robust self-care routine and careful wardrobe planning will make a significant impact at your next event and beyond.
A consistent self-care routine that addresses nutrition, exercise, rest, spiritual development and all opportunities to experience joy is the cornerstone of a powerful personal image.
Taking actions of self-care build your image from the inside. Now it’s time to reflect that image through your wardrobe.
Your personal image has an impact on the way you see yourself, and the way other people view you.
People treat you based on how they perceive you. The impression you make visually happens in the blink of an eye and your wardrobe plays a powerful role.
Building a chic, powerful, flattering wardrobe takes the stress out of getting dressed and will elevate your confidence every time you walk out of the house.
Knowing your color palette, body silhouette and ultimate signature style will help you identify your best wardrobe choices.
You don’t need a lot of clothes, you just need the right clothes. Hiring an image consultant is a smart business decision. You’ll amp up your confidence factor and attract success.
5. Boost Your Body Language.
“Since an attitude is often expressed by our body language and the looks on our faces, it can be contagious.” John Maxwell
Body language is nonverbal but it communicates volumes about you nonetheless.
Mastering your nonverbal communication can increase your income and ultimately attract your ideal clientele. Much of our body language is instinctive, changes how others see us and also how we see ourselves.
Confident and powerful body language will make you more effective at networking, increase your sales, elevate your influence and give your business the nonverbal edge.
Here are my body language tips:
- Stand tall
- Walk with purpose
- Point both feet at the person you’re interactive with
- Make solid eye contact
- Focus on one person at a time
6. Act ‘as if’.
“Act as if you are already the person you want most to be.” Brian Tracy.
Another true story: I’m weight training and my awesome trainer, Gary, increases the weight of my dumbbells. It’s difficult and I’m struggling.
Then I visualize (act ‘as if’) that I’m strong, focused and fully capable of lifting much more than I currently am. It WORKS!!
To elevate your confidence pop into the bathroom stall before your next networking event and take deep breaths… breathing in a confident person who has achieved all you desire.
Then, hold a power-pose for 60 seconds. Your outward energy will improve and others will be drawn to you.
You’ll make more connections and convert your clients much quicker.
So, back to my true story… I left the event and you know what I realized? None of the fears I had were real. I wasn’t shunned or criticized and I made great connections with amazing people.
What I felt before going into the event, well, it was only real to me, and what I know is that we have the power to overcome those feelings so that they don’t cripple us and hurt our business.
The next time you feel unsure of yourself, use my confidence-care routine to unlock your power, boost your confidence and step out of your comfort zone.
I promise, it will help.